Monday, February 4, 2013

My Heavenly Father loves me....

I don't know about you but this past month or two or three I have been stressed, tired and just overwhelmed. I can't say it has been one thing but just lots of little things. I am sure my pregnancy hormones play a lot into this as well as my teaching schedule (28 students) and trying to keep up with the life of 4 young kids. Anyone relate? So yesterday I played with the mo tab. I performed for the music and the spoken word broadcast. It was not a very memorable broadcast as far as harp parts go but for some reason I was stressed. Honestly I think it was a combination of just my emotions coming to a head. As I left the broadcast and was driving home I just felt sad and overwhelmed. Wondering if I am going to be able to handle 5 kids and teaching and Kent traveling and just everything. I didn't know what to do and for the first time in my life I started questioning why I am putting so much effort and time and life into the harp. Haven't I put enough time? Is it time to throw in the towel and just say I did it and now I need to focus on being there for my kids and not others children? It has been something I have been wondering a lot about lately and praying about needing to know what I should do. Fast forward to this afternoon. The feelings of yesterday still weighing on my mind I was waiting in the dr. Office for Claire and I checked my Facebook status. I found that this sister from my old ward who I have spoken to maybe 3-4 times ever in my life had posted something about me. She told me how grateful she was to see me on the broadcast yesterday morning and how it must be such a blessing to be able to be a part of something so beautiful. She also said something to the extent like how nice it must be to have worked so hard on something and to be able to use my talents. I just about started crying right there in the waiting room. (remember pregnancy hormones!) I felt like this sister was an answer to me that my Heavenly Father is aware of me. He knows my trials and feelings and understands what I needed to be reminded of. I am so thankful for this small miracle in my life today. I am writing it down so I can remember that not only am I being looked after but that I need to be open to promptings that might help others. Thank you dear sweet sister in my old ward who listed and followed the spirit. I am so grateful for you! I haven't figured out anything concrete but I do know that the answers will come to me and that in time I will be guided to the path that will help me and others, because I know that my Heaveny Father Loves me!