My Heavenly Father loves me....

I don't know about you but this past month or two or three I have been stressed, tired and just overwhelmed. I can't say it has been one thing but just lots of little things. I am sure my pregnancy hormones play a lot into this as well as my teaching schedule (28 students) and trying to keep up with the life of 4 young kids. Anyone relate? So yesterday I played with the mo tab. I performed for the music and the spoken word broadcast. It was not a very memorable broadcast as far as harp parts go but for some reason I was stressed. Honestly I think it was a combination of just my emotions coming to a head. As I left the broadcast and was driving home I just felt sad and overwhelmed. Wondering if I am going to be able to handle 5 kids and teaching and Kent traveling and just everything. I didn't know what to do and for the first time in my life I started questioning why I am putting so much effort and time and life into the harp. Haven't I put enough time? Is it time to throw in the towel and just say I did it and now I need to focus on being there for my kids and not others children? It has been something I have been wondering a lot about lately and praying about needing to know what I should do. Fast forward to this afternoon. The feelings of yesterday still weighing on my mind I was waiting in the dr. Office for Claire and I checked my Facebook status. I found that this sister from my old ward who I have spoken to maybe 3-4 times ever in my life had posted something about me. She told me how grateful she was to see me on the broadcast yesterday morning and how it must be such a blessing to be able to be a part of something so beautiful. She also said something to the extent like how nice it must be to have worked so hard on something and to be able to use my talents. I just about started crying right there in the waiting room. (remember pregnancy hormones!) I felt like this sister was an answer to me that my Heavenly Father is aware of me. He knows my trials and feelings and understands what I needed to be reminded of. I am so thankful for this small miracle in my life today. I am writing it down so I can remember that not only am I being looked after but that I need to be open to promptings that might help others. Thank you dear sweet sister in my old ward who listed and followed the spirit. I am so grateful for you! I haven't figured out anything concrete but I do know that the answers will come to me and that in time I will be guided to the path that will help me and others, because I know that my Heaveny Father Loves me!

New for 2013

OK so 2012 never happened. Strike that...it did happen I just never posted once in 2012 so in a few years we will think it never happened. I resolve to post at least once in 2013. And here it is... :) A little update. 2012 brought on a new house, new pets(llamas), new job (Kent) and new schools. That is it in a nutshell. 2013 brings on a new frontier for our family. We just finished a small remodel project (big to us but small to our construction crew). Kent is leaving for Orlando on Tuesday for his first Color Run for the 2013 year. Emma still hasn't gotten the hang of going to bed or waking up with a smile on her face. (That hasn't changed so that is not new for 2013!) Claire just got done with cast therapy for her leg and it has made a huge difference. She is finally walking with her heel touching the ground. Mack and Morgan are potty trained (hallelujah!!!) and loving pre school. Oh and we are expecting a little boy in June. Yes 2013 will be a big year for our family. 2012 was great and we feel very blessed. We hope and pray 2013 will be equal. (See at least one post this year. Check this off my list of resolutions! :) )

The Land of Sweets and the Sugar Plum Fairy

About a month ago Claire informed me that she was going to have a Nutcracker party. I asked her what exactly was a Nutcracker Party and she told me quite specifically what it was. "Mom. The Sugar Plum Fairy will come. We will decorate cupcakes and pin the hat on the Nutcracker." Claire held onto those ideas which forced me to figure it out. Thank goodness for Circe and Golda! Golda graciously said yes when asked if she would be our Sugar Plum Fairy. She was the sweetest and best fairy I could ever ask for. Honestly. If you have a birthday party coming up and need an AMAZING helper Golda is your girl! Now you need to know something about me. I may be musical but I am not crafty or creative. Honestly. I remember getting kicked out of 7th grade art because I was so bad. I think the quote from my teacher was "you are much better at the performing arts than the visual arts. I think you should stick with performances." So armed with Claire's ideas, pinterest and my trusty Sugar Plum Fairy I think we pulled it off today. We invited way too many girls and yet I would not change it at all. I won't tell you how many came but let me tell you that thanks to the generosity of Claire's friends we won't need to buy anything for her for the entire year. That includes Christmas! This post includes some phenomenal art work by Kent (the pin the hat on the Nutcracker game and the invitation) and some of my best crafty work. Again, pretty much all the ideas came from various blogs found from pinterest. Without further adieu...Claire's vision of the Nutcracker.

5 years old...where did the time go?

Happy Birthday Claire! I can't believe you are 5 today. You are such a sweet and loving little girl who has some fire and sass like no other. I want you to know that we are so lucky to have you in our family. You have taught your dad and me more about strength, humility and prayer than anyone else in our lives. Thank you! You inspire us daily.

We love you so much and hope you have fun tomorrow with your Nutcracker Party and the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Love you so much!

Mom and Dad

The Great Disney Adventure

This post is going to be long. At least I think it will. So you can stop now and just know that the short version is we went, we had fun and we survived. All good things! :)

The long version is that about 6 weeks ago I had this crazy dream after talking to my neighbor that we (Kent and I) could do Disneyland. It seemed like it would be so much fun and that the kids would freak out.
So after checking into the prices and deals I pulled the trigger one Saturday night. I felt both giddy and sick at the same time. Can you feel that?! Well I did.

Then started the great Disney research. I swear I emailed, facebooked and read every website that would give me all the tips and tricks to taking young kids, toddlers and twins to Disneyland. To say I was a bit obsessed would be an understatement!

Fast forward to last Tuesday after school. We picked Emma up from school and had all the bags packed and loaded in the car. We told the kids we were going on a trip and that the big surprise was Disneyland. Emma seemed totally overwhelmed and Claire just freaked out! She kept saying "I am going to meet Tinkerbelle!"

We flew with all 4 kids and it went great. We were a bit of a circus but I am used to people staring at me when I am out with the kids. Kent...not as much.

We spent 3 days at Disneyland. Had lunch at Aeriel's Grotto which was actually pretty good, saw 3 parades, fireworks, the World of Color show and also trick or treated at Disneyland. By the time Friday night hit I had hit my overload button of everything Disney. It was a blast though and I am so glad we did it.

The kids tonight were telling us all their favorite things they did. Emma loved meeting all the characters and getting their autographs. I thought she was going to die when she met Jessie from Toy Story! Claire seriously loved everything. Except for the new Aeriel's ride. It was the first ride she did and I think she was overwhelmed by the huge Ursela and burst into tears! Needless to say she did not want to ride that one the rest of the time. On Friday afternoon she told me "Mom. I think I will give it one more try." She did it and loved it. I was so proud of her!

The boys were seriously so funny. Like total boys they just hung out and went with the flow of what the girls wanted to do. They were thrilled with whatever person they met and whichever ride they went on. They were actually pretty easy since they had no agenda or opinion of what or where to go. They really loved the Aerial ride as well as anything Toy Story related. They were so cute and were so much fun!

Kent was a total trooper and a great sport. He is not a Disney fan period. I think it is a safe bet to say he did not catch the "Magic" but still went through the exhaustion of the trip for his kids and me. I once again have realized how lucky I am to have married him. He was a great support!

My Tips and Tricks for Disney are these:
1. You can plan all you want but seriously it will not work out the way you think. Just go with the flow.
2. Watch out for the people on mopeds. They mean business and they will run over your small child/children if your not watching!
3. Churros and Corn Dogs do taste better at Disneyland. I don't know why but it is worth the $$.
4. Once you are sucked in you will not get out. Try as you might you will need to allow yourself at least an hour to exit the park. You keep seeing things you need to check out or buy or just try once. It is mission impossible!
5. This is a tip I think I will hopefully try the next time we go. (yes. there will be a next time it just might not be for 5 years!) I am hoping that next time we will be able to stay at the Grand California Hotel. I am thinking it will be worth the extra $$ to not have to drive/walk/shuttle anywhere in the morning or at night. Especially with 2 strollers.

If you have stuck with me this long...Thank you! I am totally impressed!!!

First Day of First Grade

Today Emma started her first day of First Grade. She has Miss Rushton and is in a 1st/2nd split. It was funny because for as confident as she was to go once we got there she was totally shy. I have never thought of Emma as shy but today she showed that side. I am totally anxious to hear how her day was and how lunch and recesses were. I think they do early out day today because the parents (i.e. me) need time to adjust to her not being here.

I miss her but know she will do great. I love you Emms! I can't believe this day has arrived. Big milestone. BIG!

9 years ago...

9 years, 4 kids,2 continents, 2 apartment, 2 houses and countless cars later we find ourselves here. Today. Celebrating! Thanks for always being there for me. I love you!

Happy Anniversary KWP!!!

love,
MEWP

p.s. how sad is it that this is the only picture I could find of us without children. This was taken on our last trip alone...before the boys were born!

So Many Miracles!!!

I went and saw 17 Miracles in the theaters the other day. The movie subject always gets me. The Willie and Martin handcart company's story. The thing that struck a chord with me was how many miracles there were. I am sure there were more than 17 but the show could only be 2 hours right?

Well in our house we have had at least 2 MAJOR miracles the past 2 days. I need to write them down so I will never forget.

Our first was with Pocket. Many of you know he made it through surgery. Thank goodness! I was not ready to see our little guy go just yet. The vet came back though and told me that he was pretty certain that the form of cancer he has was a) rare (which really should not surprise us since we deal with rare medical on a daily basis) and b) aggressive. He then told me that we would be in the exact same spot with Pocket next year as far as surgery goes. Great.

The miracle came though when yesterday afternoon Mike (from the barn) called and told me that the biopsy came back and the tumor was benign. Which means that Pocket should be around for a long time! I am so thankful for this miracle since the girls and boys seem to really be loving Pocket and the horses right now.

Our 2nd miracle was more of a "I don't know how that happened" miracle!
On Monday night we were watching fireworks at Kent's sisters place for the 4th. Things were going great and the kids were loving them. Then they lit one of the really big aerial "now legal" ones which in the process tipped over and started shooting right at the family with my kids on the front line. It was seriously the most scared I have ever been for my kids! It felt like being in a gun fight with fireworks going off all around us. I even felt a bit of singe on the top of my ears and hair! Somehow all my kids were not only safe but had not a scratch on them. It made me think of the part in the handcart story where the angels were helping them push the wagons. Well I felt that angels were seriously holding and protecting my kids as I was not with them at that exact moment. The kids did not move or panic. They each had a little bubble around them that seemed to deflect the fireworks. The kids were a little scared (obviously) but other than that just fine. Again, I seriously don't know how they were not hit but am so thankful for safety and protection on Monday night!

Miracles do exist! If you ever doubt them just look around. I have never been so sure of anything like I am now!

A little Blue...

These pictures were taken just after we got Pocket by our great friend Becki.

I am a bit sad and felt like I needed to write about it to just get it off my mind. Does anyone else do that? I am sure you all do it in a more private forum but me...why not just spill it out for the whole world to read?!

Here it goes...
Today I dropped the girls off to riding lessons at G. Simmons barn and went to run some errands. When I went back to pick them up and Mitchell (our incredible riding instructor and friend) told me that I needed to talk to Mike (the barn guru) about Pocket. For those of you who don't remember Pocket is our incredibly small and cute pony that we bought for Claire right after she was diagnosed. He has been a great therapy pony for us.

Anyway- it turns out that Pocket is really sick. We knew he had a small tumor on his nose the past couple of years and it has been not a big deal. Well over the weekend it grew really big and has made Pocket really sick. In short our small pony is going in for surgery on Friday. We don't know what the outcome will be and I am sad.

I tried to not cry but got teary eyed when I spoke to Mitchell about it again. I then told the girls about everything. Man! It was so sad! I told them that Pocket might not make it through the surgery and that we needed to be ready if that was the case. They handled it well for being 6 and 4. I think it is me who is really moved by this experience. I feel like this is one of those parenting moments that I can handle well or really screw up. I am not sure if I have done either just yet. All I know is that I am hoping that Heavenly Father heard the little girls prayers tonight when they both asked Him to help Pocket to be OK.
I hope he hears my prayers as well. To know how to handle this either way.

Man this parenting thing is tough!!!

Madsen Day 1

I promise he likes it! Really!!!:)

The kids this morning on our way to pick up Emma.

The bike! We will have to come up with a name or something!

So we went to the house last night and got the bike. The family we got it from ended up being some old harp students of mine and a family I LOVE!!! It is funny how we spoke to each other on the phone but didn't put 2 and 2 together until right before we pulled up. THANKS BENNETT FAMILY! IT IS AWESOME!!!

The kids had a great time taking rides around the park last night and this morning Claire asked me if we could take it today on our errands. I told her my legs might not make it to the bank today but maybe someday!:) Our goal today was to pick Emma up from school. I am not sure how far it is but maybe round trip just over a mile or something.

The bike really isn't bad when you get going and me being a total novice at bike riding I am enjoying the gears it has to offer. The only embarrassing thing that happened was when we were at the school picking up Emma today. As we were heading out a couple of kindergartners dodged out in front of us and we toppled over. It was pretty heavy with all the kids and I and needed help from some other moms but I guess if you are going to fall, fall big!:) Nothing like making a total spectacle of yourself in front of all the other moms. The good news is the Madsen totally took care of the kids and no one was hurt. The bad news was I was a bit shaken and had to bike them all home. We will be sure to watch out for those pesky curbs next time!:)

Day 1 of owning a bike that can haul all my kids in one go...SO MUCH FUN!

Soooo excited!

Hello! It has been far too long to recap the past month and a half. Crazy how May seems like December in terms of commitments that you have. I don't know how all you who have kids in "real" school (something other than kindergarten) do it! To keep up is insane.

So I wanted to post that I am beyond excited. What might you ask has me all hopped up? Well Kent and I recently have been contemplating the move from a suburban as our family vehicle to a minivan. Before all you naysayers of minivans get going please remember I have 4 kids 6 and under and 4 car seats. I love my suburban but am getting really sick of putting the $$ into gas rather than other things. So while we have been contemplating this I have been secretly (and not so secret to Kent) coveting the mini vans of bikes. Yes! You read it right I who have not owned a bike since I was 12 am going to make the purchase today. I am sooooooo excited!

Check out the Madsen cargo bikes. Also known as the Madsen cycles. I found a great deal on one from KSL (don't you love KSL?) and am super stoked to start doing playdates, picnics, ice cream runs and so much more in my new minivan bike.

In preparation for the purchase I went to Robert J DeBry to pick up some bike helmets for the kids. The deal for the helmets was too good to pass up. $5 per kids helmet!!! Now they are set and I am to. If only I could pick it up right now!:)

So if you see a mom with 4 kids in a bucket on a bike chances are it is me. Don't be afraid to wave at the kids as I am sure they will be waving back!


I will keep you all posted about how it moves with 4 kids in the back as I am anxious to do the first kindergarten pick up tomorrow at 11:30.

WE DID IT!!!

I had the best time in So Cal with my cousins this past weekend. I never thought that the Ragnar race would be as much fun as it was. I am not a hard core runner but would seriously love to do this again. Check out this AMAZING video my cousin Padgett put together of our adventure!

ROCK ON TIBBY'S TRACKSTARS!!! (We have a lot more cousins to help run next year. We might have to have a Roy's Rockstars added to our team!:)



p.s. does anyone know how to make my video fit the screen? It is cutting off half the movie! Thanks!

Crazy or Fun?

I am heading down to So Cal with Kent and my family to run my first Ragnar next week. This is monumental in the fact that
a) it will be the first night away for Kent and I alone without the kids since the boys were born. Nothing like spending it with 10 other sweaty people for 24hours plus in 2 suburbans!:)
b) I haven't ran a race...or really ran since before the boys were born.
c) I will finally have a visual of what Kent really does!

Thanks Simmons/Morgan cousins who have agreed to this crazy adventure and make our team possible.

ROCK ON Tibby's Trackstars! ROCK ON!

Happy Birthday Boys!

Tomorrow Mack and Morgan turn 2. I really can't believe it! Kent and I were talking about how the memory of their birth day is still vivid in our minds and that 2 years really does seem to fly by. In hindsight. The reality of having the boys these past 2 years has been slow moments and days but quick years.

We have been through a lot the past 2 years as a family and looking back I feel like the Lord blessed us with the boys so that we couldn't worry to much about the day to day things. We have just been in survival mode and have not had a chance to worry at details really. Probably a good thing!:)

These guys are so adorable and fun and sweet that I feel extremely lucky to be their mom! I still don't know how we have done it and honestly can't believe most of the time that they are mine. I love them both so much though and can't wait for more years and more birthdays!

Happy Birthday Mack and Mo! We love you!!!

love,
Mom, Dad, Emma and Claire

Need Help!

Before you get worried we are all just fine in our house! All is well and by some miracle we are all healthy.

I need blog lands help though. I want to teach my harp students this year about classical composers. Not just famous harpists but really open their eyes to a bit of the amazing classical world. I want to somehow help them be well rounded musicians not just well rounded harpists (if there is such a thing!)

So I am trying to come up with a list of AMAZING classical composers that we can learn about. I am thinking one a month (at group lessons) then possibly having a little quiz the next month or something like that.

There are so many composers that I love and want to share with them but the ages of my students range from 3-18. I want to somehow keep it light and memorable. Does anyone have suggestions?

I know the greats like Beethoven, Mozart and Bach but what others do you like?

Kids say the craziest things...

Claire has been so funny lately I can't help but write a few of her "moments" down.

So the other day she was telling me that tomorrow she would be going away to college. She was very adamant that this was going to happen and even packed a box with all the things she would need. Her pillow pet, her doll, some dishes from a tea set, her blanket and some clothes. She was then getting ready to go to bed and I told her I would miss her a lot while she was away and she told me "mom. I just received a text from my dear friend who told me that we are not going to college tomorrow. So I will be staying home!" It had me laughing so hard I couldn't say good night to her. Thank goodness she is not even going to preschool yet. I would miss her terribly!

She has also been watching a lot of this bear movie and they always ask the viewer "what do you like to practice every day?" and Claire's answer is, "Harp." Yep. Claire started harp lessons two weeks ago and has been such a joy to practice with. Whether or not it will last when the newness has worn off I don't know. I am just riding the good wave with this one.:)

Then today she had to get two shots. After the deed was done she told me with tears coming down her cheeks, "mom. Dad is going to hear it today. Shots are NOT fun and I am not having a good day!" Seriously. Where does she get these lines?!

I think the best news and biggest step for us is that this past week was her last speech therapy. Yes. She has officially caught up to her age group and our therapist told us she didn't need to come anymore. We are sad to see Jean go since she has been such a HUGE part of our lives but thrilled that we made it to this point. AMAZING!

Hope you have a great week! We are.:)

Memories

Kent put our Christmas card together this past Sunday. We are still planning on mailing the actual card but sometimes they don't always make it in the envelope and mail before the season is over. I can't believe this year has gone bye so fast. CRAZY!

Updates:
Morgan and Mack are now really walking all the time which means I am going slightly nuts chasing them around. They also have 3 official words. Sucker "gucker", car "ca" and cracker "gacker". Only the essentials. No mom or dad here!
Claire had her 4th birthday (pictures to follow) and also we found out that she has caught up with the typical 4 year old speech. That means we get to start to phase out speech. HAPPY DAY!:)
Emma is the best big sister! She has been such a great helper the past couple of months and I don't know what I would do without her. She is so mature for her age that I forget she is only 5. I guess that is the curse of being the oldest in the family!

Hope your having a great holiday season with plenty of Nutcrackers, snow, hot chocolate and lights!

Big Steps

This is a picture of the kids meeting Kent at the airport after his race. They were so excited!

Claire after she had a successful trip to the potty!

Mack taking his first steps!

Morgan clapping since Claire and I were freaking out after he just stood up and walked!

We have had big steps happening around here lately!

Mack and Morgan have started to take their first steps. In true twin/boy fashion Mack did it first and it seemed like Morgan was literally a step behind. Mack is such a physical kid who just tries and tries until he finally gets it. Morgan on the other hand seemed to study Mack trying and then just got up and did it. They are so darn cute I can't stand it!

Claire has finally got the hang of using the potty! It has truly been a miracle to watch how easy it has been for her. I am constantly amazed once again at how well her brain and body have worked together. AMAZING!

Emma had her first trip away from mom. This was more of a big step for me than her. She went with Kent last weekend to California to see Kent's brother bless their baby. I was so nervous and sad to think that I was missing out on things with her but the idea of driving to and from California with all the kids in one weekend was enough for me to miss those events in her life! She had a great time though and I am so proud of the girl she is becoming.

Kent had his first race in that he was in charge of in September. It was amazing for me to see how much work really goes into every single race at Ragnar! I had no idea and am happy to say that we survived as a family and he survived as the race director!

Me...well I am doing a first since I had kids which is perform solo in public. This has been a big stretching moment in my life this past year. I have loved reconnecting to performing and practicing. I am performing tonight at the Assembly Hall on Temple Square at 7:30 as part of the Temple Square Concert series. I am looking forward to it and hopefully enjoying the experience! All are welcome that are 8 years old and older!:)

Claire

(I am warning you now that this is a slightly long and rambled post. I have so much in my mind and heart at the moment I just can't seem to organize it into a nice short post.But since this is my best form of family journal I feel I need to get it out. Ever feel that way? Sorry!:) )

I am constantly amazed by this little girl. She is teaching me so much about life that I can't even begin to tell you. This past Monday she started her 3rd round of constraint therapy. That is where you cast the strong arm to force the weak arm to work. This time has been a bit rougher for her than other times. She is now pretty independent and I just took away her only form of independence. In short I suck as a mom. She hasn't said that but I think she feels a bit betrayed. Every day she asks me to take her back to Shriner's so that they can take her cast off. I keep telling her that she needs it on for 2 more weeks and she will get big tears in her eyes and say "OK mom. Just 2 more weeks!"

I am amazed at the wise and determined personality that is in this little girl. I feel like I am going to cry every time she falls or can't keep up with the other kids. My heart broke tonight when she started to cry and ask me to read her one more story. You see every night she "reads" to herself books until she falls asleep. Without the use of her right arm she can't hold the book up so she just waits in the dark until she can fall asleep.

I don't know how to be a parent to a child with special needs! I am trying to do what I think is right and trying my best to follow the advice from the professionals but sometimes I want to say to the therapists that work with us, "Can you tell me what I am supposed to say to my little girl when she comes in crying because she can't keep up with the other kids?" or what to say to my 5 year old who the other night told me, "Mom. Tomorrow I think we need to teach Claire how to walk normal. You know. Like not drag her feet anymore." None of them have covered these topics with me. I wish they would.

The thing is that I am learning, as I am stumbling along this road that I don't need someone to tell me how to respond. Because Claire is showing me how to respond. Daily.

This past Sunday was the Primary Program. She had one line and to be honest I didn't know if she was going to say it at all. As her class stood up and took turns to say their parts Claire got right up there and said her part loud and clear. She didn't even hesitate and didn't care that the others could not understand her as well. She was proud to do it and I was proud of her! My mom and I sat in the audience and both just about started to cry. I couldn't believe that my little girl who was not supposed to talk or walk just did both in front of an audience.
She had just taught me once again how determined and independent she is and will continue to be. I am so thankful for this little person who continues to teach me daily what I need to be grateful for and what I take for granted. Thanks Claire!